Management: "Team: we have 500 nails we need to hammer in a week to finish this bookcase. We have 5 tools and with a rejection rate of 10%, each tool has to hammer 11 nails per day! It's an achievable goal! Our clients are waiting!"
Tool 1: "But we only have two hammers. The others are screwdrivers and a jig-saw."
Tool 2: "But we don't even have shelves yet. "
Management: "First, every tool is going to have to contribute to the team effort! 11 nails per day! Evening & weekends, if necessary! Second, the client needs the bookcase now! We can deliver shelves in a service pack release."
One week later...
Management: "First of all, let me congratulate Hammer Harry & Hammer Howard. You guys rocked! You hammered an average of 25 nails/day! You will get bonuses! And you, Jigsaw Jake, had a respectable 12 nails per day! However, Screwdriver Sam and Screwdriver Sally--you only hammered 4 nails/day with a rejection rate of 5 nails/day! I don't know how this is even possible, but you will need to step up your game!"
Eight weeks later...
Management: "Ok team we've finally delivered the bookcase to the customer, but they said it's unusable without shelves. With Jigsaw Jake on disability due to his drive mechanism being damaged from all the hammering, we need the rest of the team to step up! Screwdriver Sam and Screwdriver Sally--since you had such a low velocity on the previous project, you do the sawing! And Hammer Harry & Hammer Howard--you drive the screws in!"
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1 comment:
Dude -- you missed your calling. You should be writing comedy. That was priceless.
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